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Workplace Conflict & Confrontation—Managing, Resolving and Surviving
May 2010
Melva Tate
General definition of workplace conflict: A spat, disagreement or argument in the workplace resulting from an individual or a group that differ in needs, desires, values, beliefs and attitudes.
Melva’s definition of workplace conflict: A nightmare!
Let’s face it. No organization is exempt from the he said, she said, they said, we said bickering between two employees or workgroups. In some companies it is part of the daily landscape. In others, it is simply a drifting tumbleweed pricking relationships as it slowly passes through your organization.
Regardless of how it shows up or how long it lingers, unresolved workplace conflict will damage relationships, hinder work performance and create a storehouse for future recruiting, retention and morale problems.
I have a confession. Although I’ve been called the great debater, I absolutely dread conflict. Whether it is with a client, coworker, spouse or child - I hate it! And I know I’m not alone. I’ll bet that you can recall a situation where you had to confront a coworker over a work related issue. You’re probably like most who try their hardest to avoid confrontation completely or you strike without thinking and end up saying something you’ll regret later. Left unchecked and not properly handled workplace conflict can cost us personally and professionally.
The Face of Conflict
Like a used car lot, workplace conflict comes in all shapes, colors and sizes. As long as two or more people work together, it will always be present. Some incidents are subtle and easily resolved. Others are major and can bring your organization to a screeching halt.
One of my most memorable workplace conflicts involved a lead technician in a manufacturing facility. The technician was told to report to me (HR – aka the Principal’s Office) following a verbal altercation that included the threat of physical harm to another employee. After entering my office, he sat staring at the wall with rapid breathing, arms crossed and a scowl on his face for 30-minutes without saying a word. I waited patiently and let him have as much time as needed to calm down. When he finally spoke, it was an inaudible mixture of shouts and cries laced with his frustration concerning his boss, coworkers, equipment, and the inability of his team to accomplish their daily production targets. What started off as a small misunderstanding with his coworkers blossomed into a major workplace conflict for him and his entire workgroup.
Identifying Conflict
The technician’s conflict and his expression of anger was very direct. I saw it in his emotions, words and actions. He was easy to spot. So is the employee who storms out of the meeting, slamming the door behind him and heads to his computer to fire-off a derisive email to his entire department. This is the “Act Now – Think Later” reaction. Conflict can also be expressed in less direct methods such as backstabbing, sabotage and gossiping. Employees who use these methods may be more clandestine in their approach to avoid direct confrontation, disciplinary action and/or termination of employment. And we should not forget about the employee who practices the “Silent Treatment” in reacting to conflict. They’re the ones pouting, ignoring, stressing and avoiding issues while keeping it all bottled inside. Studies have shown this individual is most often the type to commit mass violence in the workplace.
Resolving Conflict
So how do you resolve conflict, get to the root cause of the problem, disarm angry employees and defuse tense situations? Try these steps and repeat as necessary.
Step #1: Initiate a Discussion
The manager or either party involved in the conflict should initiate a meeting to acknowledge there is a conflict, determine the root cause, describe the situation in non-judgmental and specific terms and listen to each party to fully understand their perspective on the situation.
Step #2: Diffuse Emotions
Without question emotions will run high during the discussion. To maintain calm, keep facial expressions attentive but non-committal. Parties should also speak using an even voice that is moderate in volume. If you notice the discussion is entering a “danger zone”, ask a question unrelated to the conflict issue. This is a great technique to change the mood of the moment and get the room back in balance.
If this does not work - Do Nothing—the emotional person expects a reaction. Resist the urge and allow them to recognize that you are not reacting to their emotions.
Step #3: Listen Attentively
Lack of communication is the likely cause of workplace conflict. Listening vs. talking to each other is the key to successful communication. During the discussion use active listening skills by simply repeating back what you heard the other person say.
Step #4 Resolve the Problem
Attempt to resolve the problem by clarifying the need and/or conflict and generating a number of alternatives to have the issue resolved. Openly discuss the pros and cons of each suggestion and reach an agreement on the best solution. Both parties should agree on a specific time in the future to evaluate the effectiveness of the chosen solution.
Step #5 Repeat
Don’t be afraid to repeat steps 1-4 until the issue is totally resolved. It may also be helpful to bring in a neutral third party to facilitate the discussion. Also, like the technician, it may be wise to provide one-on-one coaching by an expert for employees who exhibit anger management problems. Your employee assistance plan (EAP) should be able to offer a referral.
Positive Conflict
Although I’ve ventured on the dark side, workplace conflict is not always negative. In fact, it can be quite productive when managed effectively. Productive / positive conflict can lead to new ways of thinking, additional management and operational options and growth and innovation for the company.
Proactive organizations are providing company wide conflict resolution training annually to ensure that each member of their team is aware of the procedures to identify, confront and resolve issues. As the saying goes - an once of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Without proper training your workplace conflicts can become a nightmare that you never wake up from.